Many consider Luncher Timtastic the Agassi of Lunch. With a flare for the visually stupendous, he's never afraid to show his emotions on his plate. He is a beacon of light in the, as of yet, lonely Pacific Lunch Zone and we caught up with him in his north shore bungalow to talk about the only thing that there was to talk about, lunch.
When did you first discover lunch?
As it is my firmly-held belief that lunch begins at conception, that would be sometime in mid-September, 1980, while my parents were on an anniversary road trip to Niagara Falls. I had the shrimp cocktail and half a bottle of Carlo Rossi Burgundy.
In your experience, what does it take to win lunch?
If you want to do anything in life, you gotta be hungry. Wanting something isn’t enough. You gotta hunger for it. If your desire for winning is compelling enough, you can overcome any obstacle. Also, if there’s anything you can add to your dish for one dollar (a fried egg, bacon, etc.), add that thing.
Sushi or sashimi?
Of all the creatures in the sea I have personally consumed raw, I know not one whose palatability cannot be improved by the accompaniment of cooked rice seasoned with vinegar, sugar and salt.
Which one of your 5 lunch wins are you most proud of and why?
With all due respect, please allow me to correct your accounting: I am equally proud of all of my 37 wins – 5 National, 32 Regional* – which, to my knowledge, make me the most decorated Luncher of all time. Lunch on that, ChristosBobistos.**
*I don’t count Friends wins because I’m not here to make friends
**I’m also the first person without a beard to be named a Lunch Legend. That has to count for something.
How has being a Lunch Legend affected people's perception of you?
Can I get any table I want at any restaurant in the city between the hours of 11am and 2:30pm? Yes. Do I get a knowing wink from the food truck cashier as he or she waits for my credit card to go through? Of course I do. But beneath all the fame, money and flashing lights, my true friends know me as the same old Timtastic who brown-bagged it to school with a PB&J and a string cheese. Some Shark Bites if I was lucky.
What does it mean to be a Pacific Luncher as opposed to say an Eastern Luncher?
L.A. is all about image. I’m not sure your average Eastern Luncher understands how hard it is to take a photo of your lunch while dozens of paparazzi are trying to take a photo of you taking a photo of your lunch. I’m out here trying to be conscious of my Brand, and that takes a whole other level of focus.
¿Hasta dónde estás dispuesto a viajar para un almuerzo de ganar?
Hasta los confines de la tierra, my friend. I’ve been to the north of San Vicente and back, south to the northernmost reaches of El Segundo, and in some cases even slightly east of the 405.
If you could lunch with one person, past or present, who would that be, and what would you order?
Lobster mac n’ cheese with Jesus.